Go for the Gold
Roocean scratched his head for the fifth time while he sat and read through today’s journal entry. Liandra patiently waited for him to say something, anything really. He stopped reading and focused on her.
Roocean: “This is fascinating on many fronts. I suppose I’d like to start by knowing what’s on your mind—besides the dreams I mean.”She allowed herself to think about it for a bit.
Liandra: “Well, I’m happy with our progress, excluding last night. I’m glad that I can finally control myself in my dreams even if it’s only a little. I’m thinking about a few of the holds and strikes that Robert taught me and how I can improve my form in Ano Pankration. I’m also wondering what I’ll be having for dinner tonight.”
Roocean: “Broiled fish for that last one, if you fancy it. But I notice that you stuck to positive feelings. What about the bad ones? No one only has positive thoughts and curiosities all the time.”She thought about it and found all her bad feelings and thoughts to be embarrassing. First, she couldn’t help but wish that she was older so that Robert would notice her more. He always seemed to notice other older women. One night she’d even overheard him at a payphone talking to what seemed like a girlfriend. He’d never mentioned her before, so maybe it was a family member. She felt dumb for even caring about any of that since there was a ten year gap between them.
Besides that, she also worried about him and his dreams of that dreadful Minotaur that he had to fight alone every night. She felt that his suffering was somehow her fault. Like she’d led it there so she could enjoy peace in her dreams while Robert was tortured. Robert even admitted that his dreams had become worse since the night they’d shared the dream of the Minotaur.
And, finally, it was now her fourth week in Stockholm. She’d have to go home at the end of the week because of the deal she’d struck with her parents before she came. She tried to talk them into letting her stay by telling them about her amazing progress, but they denied her anyway. They claimed that a month was enough time considering the progress she’d already made.
She told him about her parents and the disappointment she felt about having to go back home as that was the least embarrassing thing on her mind. He quietly listened to her, staring with kind, understanding eyes, and nodded at her almost every word.
Roocean: “This tension between you and your parents … their desire to break you from this place that you now consider safe and free, that may just be the central cause of this shift in your dreams. This lack of details in last night’s entry harks back to a few weeks ago. The imagery you’ve listed harks back even further than that to when I first met you.”Liandra hated that she was regressing, and it was even worse since she’d be leaving soon.
Roocean: “This isn’t a cause for panic. It may be a good turn of events. You just need to keep your mind’s eye open to further explore your dreamscape and its meanings. Even if you don’t like what you see, you must observe. Remember all the tools now at your disposal in your dreams. You have enough to record, examine, and make conclusions on the state of your dreams. If we’re to understand what this new image is, you’ll need to explore and observe every inch of it.”The only thing new in last night’s dream was what she noted as “bright light” that was “under.” She now remembered the words better than the image itself.
Roocean: “We’ll finish this week by getting some good details on these dreams. By the time you’re home next week you’ll have everything you need to begin rigorous self-assessment. I’ll also mark out time for us to talk over the phone. It’ll be like you never left—honestly.”
Except Robert won’t be there, she thought. And I won’t be able to help him.She only nodded and thought about how she’d miss all the freedom of this amazing city and this environment of self-discovery Roocean provided. The dream reader had grown his beard out and was dressed casually in deep crimson slacks and a black turtleneck. He eyed her over his glasses, a pose that honestly made him look like someone’s dad. He looked at her suspiciously as she rose up out of her seat and approached him. She could tell he was surprised when she bent down and hugged him. He simply sat still and awkwardly accepted it.
Liandra: “Thank you, Richard! For everything!”She beamed at him and then left his apartment for hers. She felt so tired now and it wasn’t even evening yet. She plopped down on her bed facedown and fell asleep almost instantly.
She found herself in the void of her dreamscape again. It was dark all around her except for an annoying glow that came from under her. She managed to orient herself to look at it—a new ability—and saw that the light below was gold and insanely bright. The light seemed to pulse outwardly in intervals, causing her to blink every time it did.
She wanted a closer look, so she mustered the will to move herself down towards the light, but she moved so very slowly. It took her forever and still she made it nowhere.
Liandra: “It’s below me, why am I not falling? Where’s my gravity? I need gravity.”She focused on what she remembered gravity felt like and suddenly found herself falling fast. She felt that dreadful feeling in the pit of her stomach, the air being sucked out of her. She knew if she continued on like this that she’d end up waking up, so she willed herself to slow her falling with a simple chant.
Liandra: “I am in control.”
“I am in control.”
“I am in control.”Now she was descending like a single falling feather, the bright golden light all around her. It felt warm and protecting. She was close to the center of it, to whatever was brightening this dark space. She just needed to glimpse it and tell Roocean what it was. Maybe it was the source of all her troubles. Maybe her seeing it could cure everything and return her to normal. There was a chance that it could at least help her understand why she was so troubled. Once she figured that out, maybe she could help Robert.
It was hot now. She felt like she was in the pit of the sun, but it was worth it because she saw the source of all this heat and light. Looking at it confused her even more.
It was a long golden spear with a razor thin point.
Liandra: “Why is this here?”She took it all in, every detail of its ornate etchings. She would remember it all when she confided in Roocean later. She’d hop to her journal as soon as she woke up to note the golden owl heads on either side of the spearhead, how they had huge eyes made of silver that seemed to stare at her angrily. She’d remember the golden vines that wrapped from around the butt of the spear’s shaft on up to the base of the spearhead.
She knew she couldn’t forget a sight so magnificent, but now she wanted to know how heavy it was. This was fueled by her curiosity and her newfound desire to test the limits of her control. A hand appeared in front of her face—her hand. She reached out for the spear … and grabbed it. A rush of sensation coursed through her. Suddenly she felt invincible, but she was still scared, very scared. She wrapped both her hands completely around the spear and the world spun out of control, but the glow still encompassed everything.
She felt hot all over, burning. And when the burning intensified more than she could handle, she screamed out and found herself somewhere else entirely. Gone was the vacuous world of her dreams, and even the golden glow that had surrounded her. Now she was back in her room, in Stockholm. She was awake, delirious, and sweating heavily. There was a banging at the door and two yelling voices that she couldn’t quite comprehend. She instead focused on the weight she felt in her hands. She looked down and gasped at what she saw there and that old familiar feeling of despair returned to the pit of her stomach.
There was a loud crash by the front door and she heard loud footsteps running straight for her room. She had nowhere to hide herself or this thing. They burst into her room yelling her name. She finally recognized them as Roocean and Robert when one of them flipped on the light. Her senses then began to quickly return and she saw how horrified they looked. She glanced down at the golden spear she was tightly gripping in her hands and recalled where it was from. Robert pointed at the spear.
Robert: “What the hell is that?”
Liandra: “It’s … it’s from my dream.”Roocean could not have looked more horrified.
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